five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
