Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
