brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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