you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
