but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
