I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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