haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she told me i tasted like america
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize