we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
