just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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