so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
