Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
