I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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