your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
