Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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