20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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