Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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