i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
