Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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