Ambien. No doubt about it.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
