I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
