Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
