redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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