I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
