Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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