i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
