when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
