it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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