you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
