Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
