i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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