i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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