Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
