i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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