Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
