Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize