its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
