I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
