I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
