Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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