No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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