i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize