Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
