help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
