she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
