tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
