ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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