I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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