look no pants
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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