this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
