The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
