You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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