You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
