No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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