Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You took a bar mat shot.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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