Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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