Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
