Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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