Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Someone signed my nipple.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize