We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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