Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
