So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
