im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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