my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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