Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
