don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
